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Have you ever questioned if a girl is simply being friendly, or romantically interested in you? Here is a list of patterns you can look for to answer your doubts. If the person is showing a combination of these behaviours exclusively to you, it means there is attraction.
- Is she asking to hang out first? She might show impatience when scheduling hang outs and would look to set a frequent meeting pattern.
- Is she looking for ways to extend interactions with you? She might volunteer to escort and assist you often, even when it is not necessary. She might insist to help you instead of someone else with small and simple tasks like carrying an item for you or driving you home. Or she have difficulty saying good-bye.
- Does she express interest in joining you for team activities like sports or clubs. Perhaps she’s heard you play basketball and suddenly wants to play too, or she tries out a video game you like, or join a virtual chat or discussion where you also participate.
- Do you run into her seemingly coincidentally> On frequent occasions, she shows up from nowhere to greet you and check on you. She most likely put effort to learn your schedule, places you like to visit and find opportunities to be around at the right time.
- Does she seek physical contact? Accidental rub of shoulders, greeting you with a hug, bumping into you or generally cutting the distance between you, fixing your hair or clothing.
- Does she ask for your assistance in particular? Maybe she needs help with an assignment, or she feels unwell and she reach out to you first, and doesn’t want to take no for an answer.
- Does she mimic your behaviour? Often subconsciously, when people like you, they observe the way you act, speak, dress, any habits you have, and start doing the same. She will take the same posture, start listening to the same music, repeat the same catch-phrase etc.
- Does she take your side in an argument? In a discussion, or if a dispute arises in a group, she will most likely support your arguments and statements and defend you if the other side is using more aggressive tone.
- Does she always agree with you? If you find out that a person pretended to agree with you and later on shared the opposite opinion to someone else, then they are afraid of conflicts with you or want you to think favourably of them.
- Does she laugh at your jokes, even the bad ones? She will be generally more excited and happy around you, which will make them inclined to laugh more often.
- Does she prioritize paying attention to you? Maybe you are struggling to get the word in a group conversation and this person chooses to listen to you, or she could have some important task to complete but chooses to spend time chatting or going out with you instead.
- Does she trust you easily? She might open up to you fast, and share things she didn’t mean to. Also, if anyone can convince them to do something, it’s you.
- Does she act weirdly around you? Having a crush on someone often leads to irrational behaviours: shyness, overreacting to both positive and negative situations and so on.
- Have you noticed her staring at you too intently or for too long? Prolonged eye-contact or catching a person glancing at you while you are not looking directly at them can be a hidden sign of attraction.
- Does she seem to be trying too hard to impress you? If she is into you, it’s natural that she want you to like them back. She will try to stand out from the crowd, seek your validation and opinions, or will show off their achievements.
- Do you feel unresolved tension? If the person has feeling for you but is afraid to show them, she will likely be tense, especially in situations that touch on this subject. Any mention of “the two of you” or asking them who she are interested in at the moment would lead to subtle changes of the facial expressions and body language, signalling nervousness and defensiveness. At the same time, she will be monitoring your reactions very carefully.
- Does she remember small details about you? Things you have already forgotten – what you did two days ago, which variant of soda you ordered, what made you upset at work – this person seems to remember all of it, and she are usually not that good at noticing or remembering things either.
- Does she make custom gifts or sweet gestures. – Is this person often buying you sweets or a favourite drink, cooking for you or giving you special gifts? Do she have any other routine to lift up your mood on a daily basis?
- Does she show genuine concern when you are in trouble? If she are not the type to spend a lot of effort worrying about others and trying to help them, but she show a lot of concern about your problems, she value you as a person and may be interested as more than friends.
- Does she try to bring you into her clique? If she has a social group she spends a lot of time with, she will insist that you join it, too. She will also make sure that you fit in and that no one mistreats you in any way.
- Do her friends act oddly when you show up? If people close to them make effort to leave you alone together, arrange that you stay in proximity (sitting next to each other for example) or make comments that seem out of context, they are aware of this person’s feelings for you and are trying to set things up.
- Does she invite you to important events? She might have a play, competition or other important event and want you to watch and support them. She might insist that you attend and are moody if you don’t.
- Has she introduced you to her parents? Some people try to get their parents’ approval even before starting to date the person and may even seek advice from them. This could be a sign of strong expectations for the relationship.
- Does she often praise or comment on your looks. Noticing when you make changes in style, and using any opportunity to praise the way you look is a display of interest.
- Does she comparing you to someone she likes. A movie or sports star, their ex or even their current relationship – being compared to any of those signals that she see you in a similar light.
- Does she seek approval for her appearance? She’d often send you pictures where she think she look good or ask for your opinion on clothing she’s put on.
- Does she make up imaginary scenarios that involve the two of you? Saying things like “wouldn’t it be nice if we lived in the same neighbourhood”, “have you ever considered going a road trip together” etc.
- Does she make flirty comments in chat? Even if she end up saying that she are only joking, if the person makes any suggestive comments or replies, and tries to get a reaction out of you in private chats or when it’s just the two of you, she is considering the possibility of things happening between you. If she back off, most likely there is a moral dilemma that doesn’t let them pursue this further.
- Does she talk about her intimate fantasies and preferences? This can depend on the culture, but often people are too reluctant to go into detail about their intimate likes and dislikes. If the girl is comfortable openly discussing this with you, she could be trying to make you imagine them in such a setting.
- Does she show keen interest in your current love life? If you are close friends, there is nothing strange in inquiring about current relationships or crushes; however, if she keeps returning to this question and insist you give up the details, she likely have a hidden motive.
- Does she show negative attitude to people you have romantic interest in? This would mean she has competition and it will make them upset or irritated. She would try to convince you that the other person is bad for you.
- Does she stalk your social media accounts? Is she always the first to like your new photo? Does she always make effort to comment on your posts? Have you noticed them hearting a pic from months or even years ago? These are signs she either want to know more about you or she are craving your attention.
- Is she trying to lead you into favorable decisions? Given the opportunity, this person will try to guide your choices to an outcome that she have to gain from. Maybe you have a friend that doesn’t like them and she’ll try to estrange you from them, or you have a chance to move to a distant place and she’ll try to discourage you.
- Does she try to get you drunk? While it is stereotypically associated with guys, girls can also look for opportunities to lower your guard by drinking and then try to hook up. If this is against your principles, be careful, and if needed distance yourself from such a person.
- Does she try to make you jealous? If the person is feeling insecure about your intentions, she will try to provoke you and get out a reaction by bringing up possible competition. She want you to feel pressure and act fast.
- Does she expect too much from you? You did something, but not the way she imagined, or you never even thought of doing what she were hoping you would. She might have built up an idealistic image of you that she likes and expect that you’d fill the requirements. But ultimately end up disappointed in you for reasons that you do not understand.
- Is she making some sort of sacrifice? If you are in a competition for the same job or award she will step down from it, or she might give up something else important to them, if this will benefit you in any way. This is something you didn’t ask of her and she assumed she had to do.
Author: Kalina G.
Points of reference: Personal experiences, observations and study in psychological principles.