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40 How well do you know your partner questions

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The below 40 questions take a look at your knowledge about your other half’s background, personality, likes and dislikes, views and aspirations. How many of the below questions can you answer about your romantic partner? If it’s less than the half, then you may want to take more interest in their identity and current state of life.

  1. Are they a creative type of person or more down-to-earth? Try to remember if they like to come up with imaginary scenarios, innovative or out-of-the-box solutions and jokes or have some sort of creative hobby like drawing, writing etc.
  2. Are they impulsive or do they like to consider things before taking action? To answer this, think of instances where they said something inappropriate for a situation or made a very sudden change of plans. How often does it happen?
  3. Are they emotionally sensitive or rather unshakeable? Do you think they sometimes overreact or quite the opposite, you tell them something upsetting and they don’t even budge? As this is part of their personality, they can put effort to change but most likely it’s something you’ll just have to accept.
  4. What are sensitive topics you should avoid bringing up? Last time they got upset, was there a specific topic they didn’t want to discuss? Are there conversations they’d do everything to avoid?
  5. What fears do they have? Everyone has insecurities and things they worry about, some just hide them very well. Have you noticed what shakes your partner’s confidence?
  6. What motivates them to act? Internal motivators (like goals, fears, values) and external motivators (a deadline, relationship or opinion, a prize or a punishment) are what best drives a person to do something. Discipline and responsibility should also be taken into account. Which ones have the strongest effect on your partner?
  7. Do they share often with you or are they keeping to themselves? When you are talking, who is usually the focus of attention? Do you usually discuss how your day went and what you are planning to do, but they don’t tell you their own thoughts? Or is it the other way around?
  8. Do they like being around people or prefer more quiet environments? The world is made of extroverts and introverts. The first are happier and more energetic around new people and big groups, while the latter get exhausted approximately five to thirty minutes into a social gathering, even if it’s going well.
  9. Do they like trying new experiences? You offer them to go to a new restaurant, try out a new hobby or sport, do something you’ve never done before. How do they react?
  10. It is easy to change their opinions? Would you call them stubborn or agreeable? Have they changed a decision after discussing with you or a friend/relative? Do you argue often?
  11. What is their favorite song or performer? If they are a music junkie, there is definitely someone or some song they would listen to most often. Try to understand what they like about it. If they rarely listen to music, just figure out which styles they tolerate.
  12. Who is their idol or person they look up to? It can be a celebrity, a teacher, a friend or a relative. It can even be a fictional character – someone they admire and wish they could be more alike.
  13. Do they have a favorite quote or a life motto? This will tell you more about their life philosophy – what is life about in their eyes, what principle they like to follow and so on.
  14. What do they like to talk about most often? It’s like a comfort topic – you can never go wrong with it, they get more relaxed or excited when speaking about it and can go on for a while. This is usually their biggest interest or passion.
  15. Do they prefer outdoors activities or in-house hobbies? Some people will choose the comfort of their home over anything while others just hate to stay inside – can you describe your partner as either of the two, or are they on the middle ground?
  16. Do they like being around animals? Which is their favorite?Pets are a big part of today’s society. Do they like any? Will they feel safe around them?
  17. What is their favorite season or weather type? Think about any mood patterns related to weather. Are they more energetic in the sun? Or do they like the sound of rain and thunder? Do they feel better in the heat or the cold?
  18. Do they have any allergies? Not all people have allergies, but when they do, it’s important to take notice as this can be a great health risk, especially when it comes to foods and medicine. You don’t want to poison a loved one, after all.
  19. Do they have any phobias? What situations will get them off the rails? Heights, closed spaces, spiders or anything else that should be kept away from your partner to avoid immense stress and irrational fear responses.
  20. Do they like children? Are they irritable around the growing humans or do they want to interact with them? This can alter plans about vacations, dates and likely the future.
  21. How well do you know their schedule? When you want their attention, you might get disappointed if the moment is not good and they are busy with work or other intense activity. Before reaching out, try to set realistic expectations and ask yourself “what are they most likely doing at the moment?”
  22. Do you know what their current goals are? It could be personal improvement, a career move or hobby related. What are they looking forward to accomplishing?
  23. What do they usually spend money for? Although you shouldn’t question them and hold them accountable, you can take notice of new items they like to acquire or activities they invest in. If they are the type that prefers to save up, be considerate and don’t expect them to spend money on something they don’t find meaningful.
  24. Is there something they always wanted but never got? Is there a dream they could never fulfill or was denied to them? Are you able to help them acquire it?
  25. Are they proud of a quality or achievement they have? What is something they value highly about themselves? It is usually recommended to not criticize it if you don’t want to get on their bad side.
  26. Are they struggling with something at the moment? Is there something that’s making them feel down, anxious or even depressed? How well do you understand the situation? Don’t try to solve it for them, but if you can, look for ways to help them handle it.
  27. What do you know about their family? What is their relationship to parents, relatives of parents and siblings? Are they supportive or are there any unresolved issues?
  28. What do you know about their childhood experiences? Did they have a happy childhood or were there struggles or something missing?
  29. What do you know about their friends? How many can you name? How close are they? What do they usually do together?
  30. Who is the person they spend most time with? Is it you? If not, then who? Are they a good influence?
  31. Does their behavior change when they are around other people? If yes, can you tell why?
  32. What do they consider the worst experience in their life? If you just thwarted this relationship, the chances are you still don’t know about this one. People usually aim to forget those and don’t talk much about them, but if you get the chance, try to find out. Otherwise, you might unintentionally put more salt in the wound by reminding them of that experience with actions or situations you create.
  33. Do they have any regrets about the past? Are there situations they wished they had resolved differently? Something they put a lot of effort in to change or would push them to make a certain decision if given the chance to not repeat the same mistake?
  34. What actions are completely unacceptable in their opinion? With other words, what goes against their morals? For most people things like crime and betrayal will be on top of the list, while there are exceptions and more insignificant things that could be related to bad past experiences.
  35. Do they have strong political views? Even the most calm and agreeable person can turn aggressive if something goes against a strong belief or view they have of the world.
  36. What are some prejudices they might have? Those would reflect in behaviors or types of people they will judge negatively, or overly positive, without any solid proof or basis.
  37. Would they take a metaphorical “bullet” for you? Yes or no, you decide if this is important for you. The question is, can you imagine them choosing the unfavorable circumstance to prevent the consequences for you?
  38. How do they react to change? Both positive and negative, change is never easy and can cause some mental instability due to the uncertainty it brings. Are they able to withstand such situations in their life? Do they need additional support?
  39. Do you know how they perform under pressure? Are they reliable in a stressful situation or will they panic and make unreasonable decisions?
  40. What is most important to them? If you answered all the previous questions, the answer to this one has likely shown itself already. You can make a summary of all you know and look to fill in any blanks through more meaningful interactions with your partner.

Author: Kalina G.

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